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A Blog:  In order to have the rainbow, ​
​you must first weather the storm

The Mark Of An Awakening

5/7/2016

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In the very beginning, she thought she could change him...silly, naive and foolish she now knew all too well. The continuously and persistently angry are unchangeable unless they want to be. She held onto hope, through the first several years of the marriage, that something would make him see the error of his ways. It seemed to her, that there undeniably had to something or someone that meant enough to him to change his behavior. As the years went by, she resigned herself to the awful truth that there was nothing, not even the loss and destruction of his family, would be enough. It was a brutal awakening. It was inevitably this realization that set her on the path to freedom. An awakening can be a beautiful thing -- freeing, liberating and consuming. The actual physical process of leaving following the epiphany, can still take a long time, in her case years. Everyday, she planned her departure. She also tried to faintly appreciate any of the good moments that made their way up through the rubble of the marriage, especially so, for their kids. She always knew she would eventually disentangle herself from him. While she was still there however, she tried hard to maintain the rapidly dissolving facade. She made sure to acknowledge even the smallest moments of harmony, as they became increasingly more infrequent. It was the mark of her awakening.   

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    Lori Paris is a mother of two adult children, she is a writer, a teacher, a student of the human condition and a fellow traveler.

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