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A Blog:  In order to have the rainbow, ​
​you must first weather the storm

The Mark Of The End

7/12/2016

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He screamed at her that he wanted a divorce a million times. In his rages he would spew that she was impossible, crazy, needed help and he wanted a divorce. She prayed every time that he actually meant it. It would have been so much easier if he would just walk away. He never followed through.She always knew she would have to be the strong one and leave him. He knew people would not understand his abrupt departure and would question it hard. When he still maintained absolute control - he was overly confident that she would never leave him. For  many years - he was correct. It took a very long time  for her to develop the strength to divorce him. So, although he told her hundreds of times he wanted out - he never made a move to actually do it.  Inevitably,  she knew that this too would become her sole responsibility. All the years of their marriage she had spent countless hours picking up the pieces from his meltdowns - trying to piece the family back together the best that she could. If they were to be divorced - she realized, it would have to be her decision. She wasn't sure at first, exactly when that process would start but she knew that she was at the end of every last vestige of her patience. He had a massive meltdown one day, over the cellar window getting broken. It was a silly and innocuous accident. It was really no big deal and would cost very little to fix. As usual, it didn't take much for him to go "nuclear" and take all of them down the raging spiral of his anger. This tantrum would prove no different in that regard. Take them down, he did. He escalated to the point of seething rage. She could tell this was a bad one and that they were in for a battle of gargantuan proportion. She knew the signs by now. She tried talking softly, calmly trying to soothe the savage, angry and unmanageable beast before her. Nothing worked and he was getting angrier. Finally, he exploded, calling her all the same derogatory   names, swearing and hurling insults at her. At last he said, "I want a f***ing divorce." Her reply came out before she even realized she was answering him. "That will be the last time you ever tell me that you want a divorce. I'm done!" She felt it deep within her soul. She was finally finished with him, his rage and his narcissism. She had turned the proverbial corner. It was the mark of the end - at long last.  
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    Lori Paris is a mother of two adult children, she is a writer, a teacher, a student of the human condition and a fellow traveler.

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